Since I moved into my new apartment with my roommate I have been learning how to balance my spiritual life with real life. This summer I lived alone and was able to focus solely on my spiritual life. I would go to work and then come home and do spiritual reading, prayer, mass. Now that I am living with someone who wants my attention and wants to talk I am having trouble spending time alone and therefore having time to pray and meditate and pray. However the past week I have been spending time reading and praying and being alone. I feel much better now that I am working on my relationship with God, writing and going to adoration. I feel so much more relaxed and calm and serene. Now if I can only meet with my spiritual director I will be back in balance. Since restarting all this my prayer life has come back to where it was. With all the favors that I do not begin to deserve and all the intensity. I had miss that closeness, that intimate relationship. I cannot truly live without it. I am ready to die to the world and go to my halfway house, my earthly home. I am ready to be with my beloved. To die to the world so that I may rise again and live in Christ. How I long for my lover. I long to be with Him day and night, to never leave Him, to always be with Him. Oh how I hope that I am not long for the secular world. I feel more and more distant from it every day. The things that matter to my friends and family do not matter to me. I do not care about material things. I care about the state of people's souls, not the outsides.
Today I came home from work and I read and then I prayed and I fell asleep praying. I had a dream. I woke up calm and relaxed from it. I dreamed that I was at the Dominican priory for mass with a friend of mine. After mass I was praying the rosary and he was waiting for me. The next thing I knew I was collapsed on the floor and there was blood. Then he was carrying me to a room in the priory and two of the Dominican priests I know were leading us. I was begging to go back to the chapel because all I wanted was to be with Christ and see Him on the cross. He laid me in the bed and I looked at my hands and there were the wounds of Christ. I begged and pleaded to be taken back to the chapel so I could be with Christ. The wounds burned and there was this wonderful smell. I tried to get up but I was too weak. Then I woke up. My hands were red and burning where the wounds would have been and in the same shape as the wounds. I vaguely remember work and everything seems a blur and I cannot care about anything but being with Christ.
Pax,
Thomas Catherine
Today I came home from work and I read and then I prayed and I fell asleep praying. I had a dream. I woke up calm and relaxed from it. I dreamed that I was at the Dominican priory for mass with a friend of mine. After mass I was praying the rosary and he was waiting for me. The next thing I knew I was collapsed on the floor and there was blood. Then he was carrying me to a room in the priory and two of the Dominican priests I know were leading us. I was begging to go back to the chapel because all I wanted was to be with Christ and see Him on the cross. He laid me in the bed and I looked at my hands and there were the wounds of Christ. I begged and pleaded to be taken back to the chapel so I could be with Christ. The wounds burned and there was this wonderful smell. I tried to get up but I was too weak. Then I woke up. My hands were red and burning where the wounds would have been and in the same shape as the wounds. I vaguely remember work and everything seems a blur and I cannot care about anything but being with Christ.
Pax,
Thomas Catherine
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